Friday, May 06, 2005

DUMB DUMB RODENTS

I once had the gross misfortune of sharing a student house with musical theatre students.
They are always on stage.
There is no greater annoyance than living with people who self identify as actors, and not to be one yourself.
I credit them for giving me a slight knowledge of show tunes, and a love for a select few. BUT, aside from a catchy song or two, it was a fucking nightmare.
I once confronted one of the BFA students on some cruel things he was saying about me. I was angry. Livid, even.
I raised my voice and I shook the room and I pointed, cussed and snarled in the way only a scorned man can.
His response was to fall to the floor, fake convulsions and then be rescued by a helpful classmate (who had seen it all before) who knew to bring him a brown paper bag to ease his hyperventilation.
The BFA's saw 'MAN DOWN' and ran to his aid, I saw the most pathetic response to a confrontation ever, and, an easy kicking target. I had taken Tae Kwon Do for 5 years, and I saw all the areas he was leaving unprotected. In my head, well, I kicked each and every one of them.
It wasn't all bad.
Sometimes it was even fun, like when I had the house to myself, or, on Christmas vacation when I was in a different city.
I don't want to defame actors.
I'm sure the ones who actually make it have a more grounded appreciation of the art, but in my experience, young hopeful actors were the bain of my existance.
The girlfriend of one of the most offensive BFA's once told me two things that I have seen to be true.
(Two materialized)
1) I talk like I have marbles in my mouth.
and
2) I have the attention span of a retarded hamster.
I have seen myself on video, my mouth barely moves.
And as for the attention span, well, she may have been too generous.
I catch myself all the time 'drifting' when people are talking.
Sometimes even when I am interested in what they have to say I have to consciously fight off the desire to daydream.
I have to watch their lips move, and focus on the words they're using.
So, how can someone so closely associated and keen on such a fucked up group to hold as their social circle be so intuned with one of my biggest downfalls?
Was she clairvoyant?
Is she a medium I should still be consulting?
Should I have been an actor?
HELLS NO!
But I have to give her this.
My attention span sucks, it does now, and it always has.
If someone even uses a word I'm not fond of I tune them out entirely.
Honestly, sometimes I find myself in a heated conversation that I started, and have no idea what the last three points were of the people speaking.
Christ, even now........
I've lost it, forgot to concentrate!
I'm going to go for a smoke!
*farting*

1 Comments:

Blogger Another Apartment in Blogville. said...

I always wanted to be a b.f.a..seirously...
i was *THIS* (whatever that means) close to applying to windsor's dramatatic arts school after highschool, but my stupid fucking ego got in the way, i second guessed myself and maybe sold myself short. that's why i (to this day) have no idea what I want to do with my life, except have people love me, live in luxury and be a fucking spoiled, bratty, stupid princess.
*sigh*
I heart bloodpigs.

12:21 PM  

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