Monday, August 01, 2005

Call It By It's Name

The Musings Of A Demi-Slut
We all know that the ignoramus view of sexually active individuals is that men are studs and women are sluts.
*dry heaving*
Ahem *wiping mouth*
Lets tear down the gender barriers on what makes a person too promiscuous and try to analyze the reasoning.
First off, there are no sluts here, no people who fuck for the sake of filling the psychiatric 'void'.
Here, we are just looking at people who are in tune with their sexual appetite, their desire to get off, and to get other people off.
What aspect of multiple partners is so offensive to such a vast majority of people?
Is it jealousy?
A dogmatic ideology of who and when humans are supposed to fuck?
Why is it such a topic of discussion?
Albeit, I was sickened when I learned that the guy I was in my one and only 'long term' relationship with had been with upwards of 30 people.
Why was I so put off?
Because I had wanted to do just that?
Because I felt less attractive for not having bee able to 'bed' that many men?NO
It was because I had been poisoned by my upbringing.
I had learned that masturbating was a private but dirty thing to do.
Fuck, the roman Catholics say yer jerking yer cock if you shake three or more times after you take a piss.
I was brought up to believe that you save yourself for marriage.
A man commits to one woman and they fuck to procreate.
Well....
No more pussy for this kid...
So, you'd assume the rules were out the window, but for a long time, they still applied. I viewed sex as an act that plays out between two people who love one another.
I believed that if you had sex with some random guy it made you dirty, cheap, undesirable.
It made you less appealing for the guy you wanted to date.
To a certain degree I am still 'that guy'.
I mean, I wouldn't want to walk into the Zellers bathroom and have every guy at the urinal start tapping his left foot in recognition of my boyfriend....
but...
the lines have blurred.
Sex has become a more tangible release than a romantic notion.
I am not a HO.
I feel it's necessary to qualify that even as I write a blog that in some fucked up fashion is in defense of HO's.
I don't want to go to sex parties, have orgies, get pissed on.
But, I have seen that it is immature to disregard and disrespect the people who do choose to express themselves in seemingly 'slutty' ways.
I believe that anything healthy and consentual is healthy and consentual, therefore deserves no judgment or comment by the likes of me or some bible toting Christian.
I also think that if I were to meet a man, fall in love, or just heavy petting in the back seat of his Volvo, I would approach the situation from that day onward.
The past, has passed.
If they were useful enough to be safe, protect themselves and others, then who am I, are you, to judge?
We're all so self serving in our ideas of what makes a person loose anyway.
My mom would tell you that anyone who has had sex with more than one person is a slut.
My friend Dayne would tell you that there is no such thing as a slut, and that sexuality is to be embraced and let flourish.
It's all opinion.
And I guess the biggest thing is....
Your opinion doesn't matter for one 'fuck'.

2 Comments:

Blogger Another Apartment in Blogville. said...

yeah i agree - i think "slut" is relative.
just like getting pissed on by twelve guys is slutty to some - or having sex before being married in a church is slutty to others.
being pissed on by twelve guys is not my cup of tea - but if it's consenting adults...whatever.
who are they REALLy hurting, you know?
BUT - i do think there are different reasons for promiscuity.
sure lots of people are just in tune with their biological need to get off.
but i know there is also such a thing as people who sleep around so they a) feel better about themselves or feel "attractive" or "sexual" or "wanted", b) to get something - be it a promotion, cash, gifts - or maybe even just someone to talk to them - a little attention or c)are compulsive.
i think back in the day - i slept with a few people on a compulsion.
i even recall asking myself "why in the name of god am i doing this right now?" half way through it.
i wasn't really attracted to the person - phsyically or mentally. i knew nothing was to come of it after - and if anything did - it would be a charade on my part.
i wasn't particularily horny and using sex as a way to "get off".
it just seemed like something to do.
but - something i wasn't even excited about doing.
that, to me - was slutty.
but slutty not in the sense that i slept with someone.
slutty in the sense that i felt degraded.
and the worst kind of degredation -it came from ME.
so the real question i had back then was: Why do i keep doing this to myself?
and it wasn't guilt - i slept with enough people that i knew exactly what i was getting into and loved every minute of it.
but there were a few there. still can't quite explain "why" I did it.
it sounds ridiculous - but it was almost like it was me acting against my OWN will - or against my better judgement. everything about my state of mind (and physical state) said "don't do it".
But i did it.
so i'm suing myself for sexual assault and rape.
i hope to god i win.

hearts and farts,

dan
www.girliesogroovie.com

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree as well, and I believe that you and I had similar feelings: because of our upbringings. I don't know why, but it took me forever to get comfortable with sex, mainly because I was taught that something was so wrong with it, for so long. I was taught that you are supposed to get married to a woman, and since I am gay, how am I supposed to translate that? Even though I am an anthropologist, I had a hard time looking past my own background, in order for me to be able to analyze and move on from it. I am in a happy and committed relationship now, but before we were together, each of us had sex with other people. And that is okay (not really something that I like to think about... my guy with someone else, but you get my drift), and I am almost certain that it has made us more comfortable; both with sex in general, and sex with each other. I don't think that anyone is a slut, and I HATE that women are always targeted, while men get to remain studs. Everyone has to do what works for them, sexually, and hopefully, they can figure it out, much like I feel like I have.

8:22 AM  

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