Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Thank You Corky

The other day I was driving around with a couple of my friends, and one of them told me that I "had to hear a song called The Only Gay Eskimo, by Corky and the Juice Pigs".
I told her that I was familiar with the song, and we sang some of the funnier lines.
Then, my friend, who we'll call Trixie, to save face. Said;
"Well how would you know you were gay if you were the only Eskimo in your tribe"
The other friend and I eyeballed Trixie trying to decipher what she was talking about.
It fizzled out in the car, but later when I got home I figured out what she was saying.
How could a gay person realize their sexual orientation if they had never had sex with a person of the same gender?
Then, at work the other day one of the younger staff members asked me if I had ever had sex with a woman.
I told her that yes I had in fact (and I was a great lay, well, I didn't tell her that, just you).
To which she responded;
"Oh, okay, so you didn't like it, and that's how you know that you're gay!".
Now, these are two people that have known me for a while. People who I enjoy being around, and talk pretty openly to.
How can they both be so clueless, and, if they are, how many more people are equally daft?
I mean, this was not the first time I had heard comments, or fielded questions like this, but more than anything this line of thought blows my fucking mind.
I can take people who think it's a choice, fine, whatever, let me know when you chose to be straight and swore off same sex relationships then.
BUT......
You do not have to have had sex with the opposite sex to realize where your attraction lies.
It's common sense.
I mean, by that line of thought all straight guys would have to have sucked dick or been fucked in the ass to know that they were straight. As nice of a thought as that is, obviously, it is not the case.
Sexual attraction and courting rituals begin in childhood and flourish in adolescence.
I knew I liked boys as soon as I developed the mindset to ponder intimacy.
I was a kid.
Maybe 7 or 8.
I had crushes on the guys, and not knowing what sex was or anything to do with physical acts, I just liked looking at them. Admiring something about them in a way I didn't, and never have, with females.
I was gay long before I had sexual contact with a man.
But, I was also afraid to tell anyone, so I dated women, and for a while swore myself to my own dark secret, and resigned myself to a life where I would never be totally happy.
Then I thought, well, fuck you, and I came out, and never looked back.
Now I have had sex with one or two fellas (lol) and don't consider myself to be gayer now than I was when I first learned what gay meant. It has always applied to me, and it always will.
I guess all of this does stem from the idea that all us 'gays' choose this 'lifestyle'.
Well, rest assured, I had about as much choice in my sexual orientation as I did to whether or not I wanted to live my life as a person who had bowel movements.
If you're straight and think it's a choice, then be gay for a day. Choose to be attracted to the same sex, we'll see how well it works for you.
And Corky, for Gawd's Sake, it's Inuit, not Eskimo!

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