Poo

I used an outhouse this weekend.
Well, sort of.
It looked like the run of the mill outdoor lavatories that are common place in most parks. Women enter the concrete building on one side, men on the other.
The toilet filled with water, and had a small button to push for the flushing action.
Only, the poop didn't go into a pipe that eventually led to some sewage pumping station, it didn't even go into a septic tank (I don't think).
It seemed to just fall down into a huge hole underneath the building.
Instead of flushing away, the bottom of the toilet, where your turd would sit after release but before the flush, would just sort of open downwards, like a can with the lid still attached by one small thread of tin.
Then, water would swirl around the bowl, and push down all of the 'papier de toilette'.
When this happened a horrendous smell would surface.
Like the clean water dropped into some dank pit and awoke the shit monster who would toss balls of stinky air at you.
It was much worse in the morning. Not from overuse, more from the inability to stomach such odors first thing in the morning.
I tried to pulling my hoodie up over my nose so that I would smell cotton gently stained by campfire instead of turd.
It didn't work.
Yes, there were toilets that flush, but they were a hike from where we were.
These toilets were so close you could see them from our campsite.
Smell them too.
At first it was offensive. Like, you'd be lifting your hotdog to your mouth for a bite, and that fucking shit monster would toss a ball at ya, then yer oscar meyer tasted like burnt turnip and rotting potato chips.
After a while though, it was nice.
Refreshing even. Okay, scratch that.
But it did remind me that I had really gotten back to nature. I mean, what says yer out of the city like a campfire and the smell of mingled shit?
If you walk a dog it will stop to smell any shit that is on the ground.
Maybe even eat it.
I have seen cats do the same, and I imagine the same holds true for most animals.
Myself, as a human animal, felt that this is some sort of ritual that as an animal I should embrace.
So, I went back to those toilets with my hoodie on my chest, I flushed that bastard, and I inhaled the smell balls that the shit monster threw at me.
And you know what?
I feel like a better man because of it.
I feel like I've gotten to know something that maybe I was a little ignorant of before this weekend.
I'm not syaing you'll see me on all fours smelling dog shit on my front boulevard, I'm just saying, I got back to nature this weekend.
And I embraced all that it threw at me.