Sticks and Stones

Well, they have all kinds of names for gay men. Here, i break down a few of them, and make a small tootie in the mouths of homophobes all over the globe.

Faggot
Faggots were bundles of wood used to start the fires when burning homosexuals and witches at the stake. Barberic? Certainly! But, I am not a bundle of wood, however, gay porn gives me a woody. So, if we must incorporate lumber into the context of the homosexual lifestyle, I prefer it is in reference to my penis.

Queer
Queer defines what differs from the ordinary in some abnormal way. Therefore, Rum and Raisin ice cream is queer. I am merely a homosexual. Comparitively I am much more normal than the repulsive flavour of ice cream that can be found at Fortinos. Fortinos must be queer too.

Homo
A combining form from the Greek meaning same. "Hey LeRoy, look at a dem sames there in that same pride parade. I says we go kick some same ass". Hmm, does make me wonder what the fuck Homo milk is, does it mean the whole carton is from one cow, or the same breed of bovine?

Gentleman of the Backdoor
This one is great, not widely used anymore, but when I hear it I always picture myself in a top hat and tails drinking brandy in some British parlour. "Right-O chap, me and the Gentlemen of the Backdoor are going to swing by the pub for a warm pint. Toot toot."

Cocksucker
Well, duh! It bothers me about as much as if I were to call a straight man a 'pussy eater'. Buttfucker, fits nicely here also.

Butt Pirate
Aye Matey! A pirate is anyone who uses lawless methods to gain something. I have never stolen a piece of ass, but I may have downloaded a few. Ass Bandit could fit in here also, that one's funny too, I see myself riding horseback into the sunset with a bunch of theived bums slapping around in my saddle bags.

Gay
It used to mean happy. It is my moms maiden name. She used to tell her co-workers that she was gay before she was married. She let everyone at K-Mart in on the joke when rumours of her lesbian tendencies got out of control. I'm not sure why Gay means homosexual now. But, I think it's supposed to be one of the good ones.

Friend of Dorothy
Ok, this one is supposed to be because all gay men idolize Judy Garland. Who doesn't love The Wizard Of Oz? C'mon, Dorothy is everyones buddy.

So, there's a few. Just so you know, they don't sting anymore. I can handle all of em, and hey, if I've left out anyones personal favourites, let me know, I'm always up for some good slang. But please, keep it dirty.