Top Ten Things About Music

Here's a little personal 'whats for' to all you kin folk lovin, head in the oven, 13 pubed youngsters with 18 sperm....

Music is not dictated by friends, family, love, life, experience, dreams, thoughts, tremors, convulsions, drugs or a really good shit, but above and beyond all of that, music is not dictated by radio.
Radio provides us with a really small sampling of musicians, and all of the sampled musicians are decided on by the target market of each radio station.
You can pick even your favorite radio station and realize why that is terrifying. That slobbering, summer toothed wonder that you pick as your worst possible listener just bought the same ASHLEE SIMPSON album that you just bought. Her songs are touching him too, or he is touching himself while the songs are playing. It doesn't matter, the most important thing for ANY fan of music to do is experiment.
EXPERIMENT!
I am not 1/2, 1/4 (what's smaller than that?) the musical reference that most of my friends are, but, I know how to love music.
And it doesn't matter if at the end of my decision we both love ASHLEE SIMPSON, I BELIEVE, there is a right and a wrong way to interpret a song, a musician, a band. And if you knew how, my constant reference to ASHLEE SIMPSON would have you dry heaving......
If you feel sick, for real, talk to me.....
I appreciate the beaks and twirps of kiddie music, but I don't want to talk about it, aside from guilty pleasures, some shit I have would never even be written on a blog, but, leave me a note, I'll give ya my email, and we'll talk dirt....
AHEM.....
Fuck, now I've gone on so long about music and top tens I have forgotten all of my top tens and have to start back at first base.
Remember that? First base! I don't think I ever knew what that was.
Is it a hand up the shirt?
I dunno, I didn't even start playing baseball till I was 17. I know, I was a late bloomer. I got my first home run at 19.
WTF?
"shut up Ian"
Music......
what you need to know!
1) Never buy a CD for one or two songs and then only listen to those two songs. If you love them, chances are you love them for a reason. So, give them a fucking chance and see what else you like, nine times out of ten, yer fav song on the album is not the one you bought it for.

2) If you download a song, and you love it....buy the album. Support the band, at least you'll have an entire collection of CD's where you love at least one song on every album.

3) Guilty pleasure or not, love who you love. Burn CD's for your friends with their songs on them. Then, when questioned, stand up, be proud. Announce your support of said artist. You could be passionate about EMINEM, and I'd still be excited to hear what you have to say.

4) Never let popularity stand in your way for supporting a band or singer. The biggest losers are the 'indie kids' who drop bands when they get recognized. Here's an idea, use the radio play to get others into something more intelligent. Fuck radio play. Essentially, it means nothing.

5) Don't talk about Green Day, even if you like them or have a friend that does, or went to a concert. Treat it like herpes, you know it's out there, but why call attention to it.

6) When people ask what kind of music are you into, be able to say "a little bit of everything" and not have it mean just 'Lil Kim, Beyonce, Chiarra, Gwen and Missy'.

7) Drugs do not make a great album great, a great album establishes itself. I feel like I just coined a phrase, did I duplicate that? Anyway, it's true, saying you have to get high to 'really appreciate' an album, well, it makes you look dumb. Do you have to get high to wipe yer bum bum too, does it make blowing yer nose religious? Fuck off, good albums transcend weed.

8) Liking one album is not a good enough reason to back a singer/band. Don't jump on the band wagon if there's shit you know is not as good. Sure, Ani has like 17 albums out, not including shit she did with other people, but like, I love Ani, I do. I mean i wouldn't eat pussy for her, but I LOVE Ani, and I can still admit that from 'Dialate' on we lost something. You be that big too!

9) Don't let your friends stand in your way. One of my all time favorite songs is 'Hero' by 'Mariah Carey', my friends bow their heads in shame, and i giggle and fart on them.

10) The biggest, most important thing to remember about music. Your parents do have a clue! Some of what they listened to is genius! Try it again, c'mon, Willie Nelson, that shit is pure poetry!

I have nothing more for you, if you follow my teachings you do so with blessings, if not, you risk pointed stars aimed at yer temples! But fuck, whatever, but the new Gwen Stefani, see if you make it to heaven!