High On A Mountain Top

So I was in Banff, Alberta, with my boyfriend and saw mountains for the first time.
It was, for real, breath taking.
One of the peaks called sulfur Mountain had a gondola that went to the top.
There was a wooden boardwalk up there that lined the edges of the peak and led to the summit. We walked it, so I guess, I have hiked to the summit of a mountain.
There were quite a few protruding look out points up there.
Hundreds of photo opportunities.
At one of the look outs there was an older lady leaning against the railing scoping out the perfect shot. She seemed pretty deeply involved in the planning of her picture.
When John and I walked past she stopped and asked if we would mind taking her picture. Her voice was riddled with the twang of the deep American south.
She was cute though, maybe mid 60's with sweet looking eyes and a nice smile. We said it wouldn't be a problem at all, and she handed the camera to John.
'Alriight, I'd like to have me standing by that there railing, and have the resterant and the mountins in the baackground.'
She explained to John that the camera was 'panneramic' and showed him some of the key points that she wanted in the picture. Then she made her way over to the spot she had decided on and leaned on the railing in full bent elbow, I am about to be in a picture mode.
As she got there John said he'd just wait a minute for the people who were climbing down the stairs to move along so they wouldn't be in the picture.
She turned to her right and spotted two women looking at the view, and completely overlooked the people to her left that John had been talking about.
The two ladies to the right were in no way interfering with the shot.
She continued to stare at them. Dead pan.
I felt my face flush a bit.
The two ladies were talking.
'C'est la montagne la plus belle, il fait mon vagin verser le liquide comme une chute d'eau!'.
They were French.
The older American belle just kept staring at them as if they were to turn around, see the look in her eyes and know instantly that they were ruining a very well thought out picture.
They didn't turn around.
Ol' Yankee Sue took matters into her own hands.
'Cuse me ya'll, ya'll mind moving, he's bout to shoot me'.
The two French ladies looked at her, baffled.
'Je n'ai pas entendu un tel mauvais anglais depuis que nous nous sommes perdus à Los Angeles centrale du sud.'
Yankee then looked at John with an expression of disbelief that they couldn't understand what she was saying.
I speak the fucking language, and I had to strain to figure her out!
Then she repeated what she had said about wanting her picture taken but added long sweeping arm movements to provide them with a visual aid of what she wanted.
if I didn't speak the language I would have thought she was doing Tai Chi.
TheFrenchh ladies took one small step.
They might have thought she wanted them to be in the picture, because at this point they had spotted John and the camera.
They looked worried.
Then, the American lady walked over to where she wanted them to stand, out of the picture, and made come here motions with her fingers.
'Could-ya'll-come-over-here'.
Because of course, if you don't speak a language the best thing to do is have the person slow down what they are saying, and then it's easier to understand!??
At this point I had to walk a few steps in the other direction and turn my back.
If I had the cameraIi would have begun to laugh at this point.
Instead, I was 10 paces behind John in the opposite direction, laughing.
I didn't see it happen but the twoFrenchh ladies finally caught on to what 'they all' was being asked to do, and they walked out of the area saying 'Oh je suis désolé, nous excuse'.
To which tAmericancan woman responded
'Ah, thank you, thank you....Gracias'
She fucking said Gracias to a couple of very obviousFrenchnch women.
Because you know, if someone is speaking in another language it is most likely Spanish?!??
I had to start walking away.
John gave back the camera and caught up to me.
'Oh my god, did you hear that'?
I had, OH, I had!
I had to stop for a minute to collect myself.
The cute little woman became something dark and ugly after that picture experience.
It was almost frightening to see the way that she related to people.
Eyes rolling, sighing, and upset that they weren't able to speak HER language.
Then, at the end of it all to assume they were speakiSpanishish and to thank them in that language.
Well, between laughing at heI, i thought about kicking her.
Maybe it was the altitude that made her dumb.....
Oh but we all know it wasn't!